I try to quiet my mind as much as possible. I want to stay in that place "above thought". Present, but not listening to the prattle of my mind. I miss him every minute of every day and I cry at the most inopportune moments, but if I can remain still and alert, I feel a peace and calmness wash over me. I'm gardening. Right outside his window is a planting area that's been left unattended for too long. I've cleared away most of the bindweed and planted a little sumac tree. I ordered a panda garden statue, on line, and he sits near the tree. I've put bulbs in for the spring and yesterday I planted a yellow cone flower that will come back next year. I want to put in clumping bamboo, ornamental grasses, oriental poppies, and a Japanese maple. I want it to be simple, easy and beautiful. It gives me something to think about and plan for and take care of. I hope I don't fail. I'm not a gardener, by any stretch of the imagination.