Keeping My Day Job

I've decided that I would not make a very good private investigator.
Alex has been looking forward to riding his bike to his new school all summer. We drove the back route. The main way is too busy. We drove it twice to make sure he knew where to turn. Last night he starts asking, "so when I get to XXX street, I turn right?" "so, then I turn left at XXX street?" "please draw me a map." So this morning I suggest that I drive behind him just to make sure he remembered the way. He says he's good and not to worry. So like a good mother, as soon as he took off on his bike, I took off in the van. I parked in a church parking lot right before his last turn to the school. I positioned the van behind a tree and was peering through the branches when I saw him go by, then turn and head back the way he came. At that, I pulled out to the edge of the lot and saw him turn back again. As he passed me, I said, "go to the corner and turn right." He made some comment about following him and then I noticed the lady in the house across the street, standing in her front window with hands on hips watching me. I gave her a big smile and a thumbs up and headed for home.
As a PI, I kinda suck.

Bus Station Blatherings

The bus was scheduled to leave at 7:40 am. We arrived well ahead of schedule to be told that the bus would be at least two hours late.

Bus Station attendant hereby referred to as BS says "They haven't called from the last stop to say that they've left yet. Or maybe they forgot."

Me: "could you call them in case they did forget?"

BS: "they are supposed to call me."

Me: "so the phone line only goes one way?"

BS: "well they're supposed to call me."

Nuff said, we came back home. We decided to call occasionally for updates.

Back at the station, the phone rang. BS answers.

person on phone talking

BS: "well, you can't buy a ticket from here to there."

person on phone talking

BS: "yes the bus stops there, but you can't buy a ticket to get there."

person on phone talking

BS: "you can get on the bus but you won't have a ticket."

person on phone talking

BS: "I can't help you."